The gang have gone to the Big Splash event in Stewart Park and I am blissfully washing towels, charging my iPad, making coleslaw and thinking about the iconic aspects of roses. It was similar yesterday—and I revelled in not having deadlines, plans or schedules. It was just nice being….reading, and at the end of the day floating…until the Bros came over and I made a nice but pretty informal and quick dinner to entertain them.
I am making these cameos (see to the left) and shooting pictures on my windowsill with a point and shoot and then using the photoshop skills (once in a while this sort of thing is nice to really have chops in)—to create images to post to Etsy for the soon to be Qtoo Shop. There will be jewelry and tattoos, cards, and sticker sets, and of course, tattoos. The more I think about Q designed/ illustrated tattoos (particularly the big ones) I think there is a cool niche that could happen not only as one offs, but for wedding parties, anniversaries, etc. And, the darker the better though seed package art might make some cute tats as well. Both Alex and Rob are not enthused about this, but it is keeping my mind off of where my head is these days with the travel and changes about to happen.
I must be a bit depressed, I think, from the change in the near future. No more kids full time. You have them, raise them and put them first in all you do from cash spends to time spends— and then, they are gone. I am sounding selfish, I know—but when “THEY” give you the baby to take home from the hospital, “They” do not give you a book on how to nurture and raise this person, what to watch out for, how to behave, how to react, how to plan, how to care. “They” do not give you a roadmap of the key “decision diamonds” (corporate speak, impressed?) on this persons path from zero to eighteen. And as we adults stumbled, and fumbled, our little ones raised themselves with breakfast, lunch and family dinners, with little vacations and time at the lake, with the picking and loving of pets, music, art and books on tape to become the fledglings that are leaving our nest…and with that my fear the bumpy road ahead. Why is it that I hesitate in trusting this person who I trust implicitly? Why is it that I fear for their personal fumbles? Why is it that I worry about the unknown? What can I do to help my fledgling get out of the nest and point his head into the wind to soar? I worry at this change—and am at the same time puzzling over all the new time I will have to be selfish with. More time for pictures. More time to date my boyfriend husband. More time to get myself together. It could be a wild marvel and opportunity and I should try to focus on that than the fear and trepidation I have for my kids. Number One is flying. Number Two is ready….He just needs to jump…and I need to let him (and applaud!). I need to treasure the time I have with them together in the next few weeks and then try to let go. I think I can do this…. I know they can. Deep breath.